Valentine's Day

Another confession. I don't like Valentine's Day.. As a single Mom, it usually kind of stinks. It seems so manufactured, and full of empty expectations and let downs. And I woke up with this attitude. BUT, a friend at work looked at me ( across a chocolate fountain in the breakroom no less) and said, "Lacey, girl, you are young, you are successful, you are LOVED by so many people and have two amazing children...celebrate THAT! So much love! An have another chocolate marshmallow" And ya'll, she is right, I have alot of LOVE to celebrate. Ok, so it may not be a romantic love right now, but its better. It is Agape love, it is the way my babies love their Mama, the way my family loves each other, and the way my friends love me and I love them! It is God, for He is love, in and through each of us! So......

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Here are pictures of my sweet boys working on their Valentines!

Nathan, saying "paint, Mama, paint!"

Noah, making purple!

My Valentines! They are wearing Snoopy shirts that say "Heartthrob" Yes!

Our loot, ok their loot, but you know, they share :) The balloon was mine, actually!

Shanna's Shower

I know I have posted about one of my most favorite people and dearest friends, Shanna! She is such a blessing and one of the best and most giving people I know! Well, sweet Shanna is going to be a mommy to a baby girl named Zoe. We got to have a shower for Shanna at my house this weekend. Here are some pictures!

My Mom, Dee Dee, and Kristin's Mom, Cindy Lou

Shanna's sweet Grandmother Mae, The Mommy to Be, and her Mom, Jackie

Amanda, Kristin, Shanna, Me and Sarah, GBCN girls

I have to confess a slight jealousy over sweet baby girl stuff, and I am majorly coveting the stroller we got her, so light and folds up in a SNAP!!!

Yummy girlie shower food!

This is mine.

I have been thinking alot this week about sharing. One of the things about being a single Mom is that you can't do everything. You just can't. I am blessed to have some sweet people who step in on a regular basis and help me raise my sweet boys. And I am eternally thankful, and humbled, and loved. But, sometimes this is hard. Not just because I hate "needing" help .. ( which is ridiculous, b/c I am not wonderwoman and we are made for community) but because its hard not to always be their number one. To put in hours of work and commute and housework, to have them wake up and ask for someone else...well, sometimes it breaks my Mommy heart. And it brings in the Mommy guilt. Now don't get me wrong, I know truth, I know they are two and they simply want who they want..and they know the routine and who comes when.. but I am human :) Then this week happened.. One night this week, my sweet Nathan who NEVER has trouble sleeping, couldn't go to sleep. He cried and cried.. He cried for ME... He wanted Mommy. I went and got him out of his bed, and sat on the floor with him.. and we snuggled. I sat their, holding him, and I wispered Love you Nathan... and he whispered " love you Mommy" ( it sounded like loooo u mommy) and I thought "This is mine..." This sweet middle of the night, first thing in the morning love... This is mine..

And it made everything ok again.

Another one to help me remember..

I was thinking today about the funny, funny things that toddlers do and say..lots of that going on around here. In an ongoing effort to remember the little things..here are a few for you.

Anytime we go somewhere, and someone says hi to them..Nathan immediately points to Noah and says TT..( his name for Noah) as if he is introducing him.

Right now we are obsessed with Thomas the Train, in particularly the "Lion Of Sodor " and "Creaky Cranky" but Nathan calls that last one "cranky cranky" Noah LOVES our Thomas the train sets..he has started saying Train, Choo Choo and Shake ( for the Shake Shake bridge) . He is always bringing me track pieces and trains to hook together. He has gotten really good at putting his trains away!

Noah likes to put himself in time out... If I come around the corner and he is sitting in the time out spot, I immediately look for something spilled or broken.

The other day, we turned in to ChicFila.. and Nathan clapped his hands with joy and said "oh, yeay! Nuggets!" ( oh dear)

Noah still wakes up almost every night around 3 am..he calls from his room Momma, UP, Momma Up.. and 9/10, I go get him and we snuggle and fall back asleep. Until he wakes me up pulling my hair asking for fireman sam. (sigh) The other night, he slid out of my bed, walked around and turned on my ipod alarm clock Nice way to wake up at 4am.

Both of them love a routine. When we go upstairs, one of them has to turn the light on, and Noah always goes first, then Nathan. And they always ask me to hold whatever it is they are holding.. milk cups, Nathan's frog, Noah's train...when we get to the landing, they both lay down and laugh...every.single.time.

Sometimes I think Nathan might be a little OCD.. he has a thing about doors.. he is always closing bedroom doors, bathroom doors..and now cabinet doors. If he is eating and a cabinet is open, he says "close it Mama" Weird, right?

Guess thats it for now!!! Pictures coming soon!

Faith Like a Child

I tend to complicate things. No, really I do. ( Yes, I know, some of you are thinking, "tell me something I don't know") The last couple of weeks God has put some very "child like" thoughts on my heart.

I don't do resolutions any more. Because I think they just set us up for failure, giving us another system to live an manage life by. Yeah, no thanks! But I am sort of resolving to simplify my life. I look at the sweet and sneaky faces of my two year olds, and wish for a simpler life, when BAM, I realize it is mine for the taking.

I think Jars of Clay said it well in their song "Faith Like a Child"....

"They say that I can move the mountains
And send them crashing into the sea
They say that I can walk on water
If I would follow and believe
with faith like a child"

There are many things I can think of that I want to see or do through the eyes of a child, the sweet simplistic life.

I want to play. With abandon.

I want to run just because I want to. Because it is fun. Or because Mama is chasing me!

To eat ice cream, outside and let it melt all over my fingers, and not worry about being sticky or messy.

To know that if I wake up in the middle of the night, crying from a bad dream, somebody is going to come get me, and hold me and to know in my heart of hearts it is ok and that it was just a dream.

To sing (worship) like nobody is watching, just because I can and I love it. And to mean it with all my heart, and to not worry about how it sounds.

To believe...

So goodbye to smelly old complicated 2011, hello 2012.

I am ready to walk into this year free of baggage and complications. To see the sweet small joys of every day. To snuggle with my little boys, to savour my beautiful friendships free from fear and worry over what they think, to love my family and to enjoy my time with them. To worship, and not worry how I sound, or how I look. To sit and be still in the presence of my Saviour, resting in the knowledge that He loves me, despite my tendency to complicate. And to eat ice cream, outside. And not worry about my sticky hands.

Lacey <><

Tanks are TWO

I cannot believe my sweet babies turned TWO on the 14th. I may be wayy behind, but here are some bday pics, and some FALL stuff too. More to come!!!

We had a Halloween Party, complete with a pumpkin patch and a costume contest!

Pumpkin Decor!

My Favorite, the Mantle and the Candy Corn Birthday Banner I made.

Cupcake!!! He loved it!

He wouldn't touch it!

Another Trip Around The Sun

"Here I’m singin’ happy birthday
Better think about the about the wish I make
This year gone by ain’t been a piece of cake
Everyday’s a revolution
Pull it together and it comes undone
Just one more candle and a trip around the sun"

In two days, I will be 32. When I was younger, I used to think 30 was seriously old. Imagined myself married, settled house, kids... 3 out of four isn't bad, right? I have this thing about birthdays. Its a love/hate really. On one hand, I love them, its a day about me, right? Celebrating, cake, presents, people.. What's not to love? On the other hand, there always seems to be a melancholy that surrounds me. Its a time to look back over the last year or so, to think of what is to come. To re-evaluate. And don't even get me started on expectations. I have alot of those, and they never quite seem live get lived up to. ( too high perhaps?) The last two years most certainly have been difficult. By far the most difficult of my 32 years. But I started thinking about all the things I have learned, seen and done. And I started making a mental list, as I do with anything. I like lists. So, I thought I would share it, one more to mark the year gone by.

So, here it is, David Letterman Style.

TOP TEN THINGS I HAVE LEARNED SINCE TURNING 30

10. I like lists

9. I have an awesome family. No really, I do. Like above average, loud messy, get in your business, going outta our way to help you family.

8. I am really really lucky to work where I do, with the people I work with. People who rotate through our department are always saying what an awesome and unique bunch we are to enjoy working with each other so much! I know it nots always easy, but seriously.. its a weird little family, and I will keep it, thank you!

7. I need to stop and rest more. I am really really bad about just sitting, putting my feet up and chillin. I really do need to do this more. I need to write that down.

6.I like teenagers. Its a weird, smelly, bratty group, but they have my heart and I love them. If you are a ground zero kid or warehouser that I know and you are reading this, you pretty much rock my face off. Love you, mean it.

5. I have some really really good friends. Sometimes when you go through a whole lotta crap, people just "poof" out and disappear. I can't say that hasn't been the case, I can't say that friendships haven't changed or ended, that I haven't been hurt or judged by those I loved the most. But I can say that I have such an incredible group of people walking with me, surrounding me and loving me and Nathan and Noah that it literally takes my breath away sometimes. I really hope and pray that I am the same to all of you!

4. A best friend is priceless. I have been blessed to have called several of you a best friend. And while I have lots of best friends, I think every girl needs a Bestest Best Friend, one who doesn't have to ask how you are, they know. They see through your mask and call you out and you them. They celebrate and cry with you. You could see them all day for 8 hours and call them on the way home because you forgot one more thing. They bring out the Jesus in you and you in them. Jen, I thank God for you every day!!! Love you, but you knew that already.

3. I go to a weird church. Yep, its weird, its unconventional. But its not plastic or legalistic. It is a come as you are, is that all you got? kind of place where people are for real and speak truth into my life. I love you GLC.

2. My children are the best parts of me. They are funny and delightful, they are sneaky and smart. They are inquisitive and make no bones about what they need and what they want. Their faces light up a room and light up my heart. Without them, my life would be boring.

1. GOD IS GOOD. No really, He is. If I can say that despite the circumstances that I have walked through, it MUST be true. I see it every.single.day. His Grace, His Mercy, His Plan for each of us. God is good, ALL THE TIME. ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD.

So, bring on 32.

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 3:13-14

Love, Lacey