Finally, trying to update the look of the blog. It is still a work in progress for sure!

The boys had their Christmas program today at Bascomb UMC preschool.  Such a sweet performance. The boys had the biggest crowd there, Me and Derek, Dee Dee, Daddy Ran, Alissa and Orry, Kathi and Katey, Haley and Matthew!  They did amazing! I have to confess, I was so afraid they would see us and come running, and at one moment, Noah looked at me and got up, ready to run, but his teachers got him settled and he sang his heart out! Nathan seemed to have a little stage fright, but he was super sweet.

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Monster Bash

The boys turned 3 on Sunday, and we celebrated with my family at Dee Dee and Daddy Ran's House! We had a fun little monster theme, complete with a dancing frankenstein and monster shirts!

The boys had a blast playing with cousins in the yard, and didn't want to sit down to eat or open presents! 

Happy Birthday Buddies!

3 years

I have been thinking alot about the boys and I just cannot believe they are 3!  Here are some of my thoughts for them, hopefully one day they will read this.

Dear Nathan,

You were first, by just a minute. For a preemie, you were a chunker! I thought you looked like me right away. I brought you home after four long weeks in the NICU, and you and I had 6 weeks together before Noah came home. You were a sweet, snuggly easy baby. You used to sit in the Boppy and just take everything in. You crawled first, walked first and talked first. You haven't stop any of the above. You have the most sensitive spirit, you are very perceptive of everything around you. You love to snuggle, especially in the morning. You are a good, GOOD sleeper, and you always have been. You love attention, and "ham it up" You are also very protective of Noah, even if you seem bossy sometimes! Right now, you LOVE Mickey Mouse, Chuggington and Fireman Sam. I love you Nater Tater! Happy Birthday!

Dear Noah,

You were such a little buddy. You looked like your Papa Earl, and you still have his stubborness. Even though you were so sick, Mommy got to hold you first. Sweetest Moment. You are the most determined little scrapper. You were in the hospital for a long 13 weeks, and bounced back and forth until your big surgery. I will never never forget all of the people (hundreds) that prayed for you.  By the worlds' standards you are "behind" but by God's hand you are right on time! You have come along way with walking and talking and learning, we are proud of you. You love your choo choos so much and are learning to put the tracks together and all the names and places. You love books and stickers, and we love you, TT. Happy Birthday!

Love you,

Mommy

Yeah, its been a minute!

I haven't updated in a while. Not because I haven't had anything to say, life it just happening. Glorious, wonderful life.
Here is a little update!
We had a birthday party for my sweet, almost step-son Aidan! I am so blessed to have this little guy in my life. He has a big heart and is already an AWESOME big bro for the boys, who adore him. Aidan turned 8 on August 30th, and all of our parents and his Mom and Stepdad celebrated with us! We gave Aidan a bike and he scored a new helmet, some gift cards and a nerf gun. He was pretty excited!!

The boys started back to pre-school at Bascomb UMC. It hasn't been the easiest transition, they LOVED last years teacher and she is just across the hall. They still don't understand WHY they aren't in Ms Di's class this year. Nathan has particularly had a hard time, he doesn't adjust to change well.  Noah is still being evaluated for special needs preK a couple times a week, which will continue to help his speech delays. Although, his vocabulary has grown so much! We will celebrate their 3rd birthday on Oct 14th at my Mom's house this year ( and hopefully make it to the FAIR)

Derek and I are getting married on October 20th. I cannot wait. We are trying to keep things simple, but sweet and meaningful. We are keeping it small with just a few close friends and family and our church family. We are blown away by what God shows us each day about each other and His Grace and Love and Goodness towards us and through us. It is living a miracle.

Some pictures for you!

Greasy V

After a long day of church, naps and some impromptu furniture shopping, we decided the boys needed a treat! Off to... THE VARSITY! Ok, not the one downtown, but our very own Greasy V in Kennesaw! This was their first time, so it HAD to be documented with hats and an FO for each. I think they liked it!

 Noah

Nathan

Fill in the blank..

Just got back from our annual girls weekend in St Augustine. Every year this trip makes me think.. Especially about where I was the year before. This is the 5th year for us, and five years ago we only had one little one, Ian. Now we have 6 between us with another on the way. The last 5 trips have seen us all change a little or a lot. Marraiges, divorce and lots of babies :) Mostly just some really good girlfriends.

A good beach trip  is...

A late night drive that seems so short because the conversation was good.
Cupcakes and mint brownies.
Sunrise on the beach and Sunset on the docks.
Playing in the waves until you have blisters on your feet, salt in your eyes and sand, well, in unmentionable places.
Loving each others kids almost as much as your own. The same goes for each others Mamas.
And sisters in law.
Talking out our differences and loving each other anyway. Margaritas and Guacamole help.
Mostly just being with each other, catching up with each other and making each other laugh.

Love you girls!

What the Tanks are saying..

Every once in a while, I like to write about the funny things these kids do and say. I think that this age, 2 years and 9 months, is HILARIOUS.

Nathan has been a chatterbox, he can have a pretty decent conversation. He talks about his Thomas Trains, His Chuggington, His Mickey Mouse..He asks questions, wants His "gog" ( green stuffed lovey) to eat with him. This means "gog" is always hungry, and needs his face wiped after dinner He is obsessed with safety. We talk about his carseats, booster seat straps, and if anyone is in the back seat he asks "are you ok back there" He also makes me hang up the phone when I drive ( this is a good thing, I think) Nathan is such a tenderheart, if not a little bit sensitive and dramatic ( I claim nothing) He  loves to tell me to "Chillax Mommy, and Take a Pill"  Funny sweet boy!

Noah has really started talking in these last two months. He is putting words together so much better. He kept saying "ready to go" when we were on vacation. I thought he wanted the beach. SO I would say "where to?"   He would say "Mama's house, play choo choo train" oh dear, he is obsessed with Thomas, he could play all day. He loves "Rusty and Salty" So proud of this little man, he is sleeping better, eating better, talking up a storm and walking up the stairs on his own (with a spotter, of course) These are all big, big steps! He learned to move the step stool to the kitchen sink, turn it on, and wash the silverware in the drying rack. Needless to say, I moved the step stool upstairs.

Sweet boys! I am one blessed Mama!!

                  Here are some pictures from a playdate at DAC Kids with Sarah and her boys!

Life's a beach!

Sorry, its been a while! We spent last week at the beach with my family in Panama City. Despite my fears that it would be "redneck riviera" It was pretty nice, we had a good time! Although, for the record, traveling with toddlers is WORK, don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.


Here are some pictures!

I wrote this as part of an essay contest... but never showed it to my Mom!!! So here you go, Happy Mother's Day Dee Dee, wish we could be with you today!!!

Motherhood is...

Motherhood is....a roll of toilet paper. Yes, that is it, that sums it up. Confused? Let me explain. Two years ago, I was blessed with twin boys, who were eight weeks early. After weeks and months of NICU, heart monitors, feeding tubes and open heart surgery for one of them, my husband decided his family wasn't what he wanted, after all. So there I was, unexpectedly a single mom with two 6 month-old boys , and completely devastated. My family and church rallied around me, and God provided in so many ways, big and small. My parents, in all of their Godly wisdom did not throw money at us or beg me to move home, instead helped me get back on my feet. I know my Mother's heart yearned to do more, to move, take, fix and do.  Instead, she chose to show me that I could do it. She supported in small ways that made a huge statement, like toilet paper. You see, every time my Mother came to visit, she stocked up my linen closet with toilet paper and paper towels etc. It seems so silly now, but there was something so tangible and comforting in knowing that it was taken care of.  The first time I came upon the full closet, I stood and wept. I felt  the depth of my Mom's love and understanding that, even though she may not be great with words, her actions spoke her heart so loudly. She was able to help, love and provide without smothering us. Of course, my Mother helped in other ways, but for me, this one made such an impact.

 Almost 2 years later, I am more than able to buy my own toilet paper. And even though my children and I may not have the nicest and best of everything, we have so much more than what we need. I pray that through my every day actions, big and small, my boys will see they are loved and provided for. I pray that I can be the kind of Mom that never smothers, but enables and challenges her children, securing them in the knowledge that they are more than capable and equipped! And every so often, I am reminded of this myself, when my own mother comes to visit, and brings toilet paper.

PS, Mom I love you :)

Off to the races?

Yeah, not the horses, better. Talladega...That's right NASCAR! I got to go to my first Sprint Cup Race this Sunday. And what better way to start than the largest track, TALLADEGA! I have to admit, I was a bit apprehensive, but I had so.much.fun. I love getting outside of my box, and doing something so random and different. Add in some GREAT company (see below) and a little friendly competition and I AM HOOKED!!

I was also super impressed with the kindness and comraderie of the fans..Seriously. I mean, don't get me wrong, there was some GOOD people watching (and, um,not so good) but really a good family time!!

       We sat on the back side, just coming out of turn 2.

 Did you know you cam camp in the middle of the track?

         Sunscreen, hat, glasses, and a police scanner to listen to the drivers and their spotters.

Derek and Aidan, I love these guys :)

Its Just a Word..

Autism... Its a word that I have dreaded for two years. Literally it made my stomach clench and flip over. But I think that I have suspected it would impact us for a while. Last Friday, one of my worst fears as a Mom was confirmed. Noah, my sweet little independent, fiercely curious Noah has autism. Or so they tell me. ( "They" being the Center for Children's Developmental Disorders at Georgia State) There has been much discussion and denial....anger and peace...but ultimately, its just a word. It's just direction, on a path that we started when Noah was 6 months old. I won't and will never believe that a label, stigma, or diagnosis will keep this sweet beautiful boy from living the life that God has laid out for Him.  I wish I could wrap him in bubble wrap and protect him from any feelings of inadequecy or inferiority, but instead I will pray they sharpen and define His character, and His dependency on His Creator. That is all any of us  can ask.

Thanks for your sweet words of encouragement and your prayers this last week. I promise to keep you posted in our journey.

Psalm 54:4 Surely My God is my help, the Lord is the One who sustains Me!

Picture Time

We had a great, busy week last week....this is basically just ALOT of cute pictures!!!

Nate, Noah, Charlie, Elijah, Ian

Trouble x 3

I can't believe this baby girl is ONE, and that she (and her Mommy and Daddy) will be leaving us for Africa in a few weeks!

Nathan and Katey ( Keddy)

Noah and Haley (yay yay)

Ninjas

Yep, Ninjas..little climbing, earring losing, front door locking, bubble drinking, food throwing ninjas. That was just since Saturday, seriously. As a type this, they are in their beds. I think. I hear Noah ( most likely) up knocking on something...probably the wall, or the door. Who knows.

The twos are here, and they are taking me for a ride. ( please don't reply and say the threes are worse, yeah, I know, hear it all the time) I am so thankful for them, for our lives, for how God provides for us, but for real, this is hard (duh) and people I AM TIRED.

Someone asked me the other day.. what is your schedule like.. ok here you go

5:30 _wake up/shower. Usually Noah wakes up now, and is watching fireman sam in my bed, or running around my room screaming, or putting my brush in the toilet, or pulling open the shower curtain, you know, normal toddler 5:30 am stuff.

6:30- Super Kathi, babysitter sent from God, gets to my house, I leave for work

7:30, pull in parking deck , hoping to see best friend to mentally get ready for our day

7:45-3:30-Piedmont Wound Clinic Madness

3:45- leave, either to gym or to pick up boys

Home by 6:00 or 6:30.Dinner

6:30 -outside, walk playground

7:30- bath

8:15, books and bed

8:30-me on couch, laundry, phone, TV , studying for cert exams..dunzo

There it is... not much wiggle room :) Don't get me wrong, I love our lives, but I would love more energy, or maybe a clone.

So I guess the point of this post is not to whine or gain sympathy, but to be honest and say I could use prayer or encouragement ( not to be confused with "advice")

Now, so not to end on a down note, here are a few things I am particularly thankful for...

-Summer is coming and so is VACATION

-Had a really good weekend, and hung out with some pretty awesome women who aren't afraid to -be real and speak TRUTH to each other.

-God has put a really sweet man in my life who mows grass, fixes mailboxes, puts together tricycles and he cooks too, ya'll!!

And of course, THESE:

The kids..not the bikes :)

So there you go, real deal, not so perfect Mama..

6

Psalms and Lyrics

I was once called a Psalmist..( or prophesied over, sometimes not sure which) When I asked the sweet man who prayed this over me what he meant, he said he saw in me a heart like David...full of music and lyrics...and seeing my Savior and my Life (which are one and the same) through those eyes. Music has always been a big part of my life, from as early as I can remember, dancing around my living room to records ( I think they were Purple Rain, and Paradise)..And I so clearly remember listening to songs in elementary school and being affected deeply by them ( Dog and Butterfly, by Heart in particular..yes weird, I know)

The biggest influence is Jesus music. I use that to sum up whatever you want to call it, praise, worship, hymns, sacred music.. "secular" music that the Big Guy upstairs uses how He wants anyway... and I remember really worshipping for the first time, it was like a light came on. Whoa. God speaks to my heart through music, no mistake.

I say all that to sort of explain why I quote songs so much. I don't need to reinvent a wheel, someone else summed it up for me. So the other day, I stumbled upon this song..yes yes, its from the Hunger Games...that isn't why I love it. It literally haunts me. It makes me cry. I love it.

I don't know how they will use it in the movie, and I don't care. I think this song is a picture of how I feel ... As a Mother, and even more so , a single Mom, I wish I could protect my babies from the things that are of this world. Not so. At 2 1/2 they have been through more than most of us... and because we live in such a fallen world, there is only more to come.

I can see myself singing this over them, and God singing this over me..us.

I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, I’ll never let you go
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, Don’t leave me here alone
But all that’s dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You’ll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I’ll be safe and sound

Don’t you dare look out your window darling
Everything’s on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold onto this lullaby
Even when music’s gone
Gone

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You’ll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I’ll be safe and sound

I remember tears streaming down your face

When I said, I’ll never let you go
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, Don’t leave me here alone
But all that’s dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You’ll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I’ll be safe and sound

Don’t you dare look out your window darling
Everything’s on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold onto this lullaby
Even when music’s gone
Gone

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You’ll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I’ll be safe and sound

( By Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhdNG_ebbTg&feature=share

What they've been up to..

Playing is "intents" :) ( yes, I did)

Big boy beds and Tents..

So, today is big boy bed day. Makes me kind of sad, really. Where did my babies go? And WHO do these toddlers belong to? I mean, really..come get them. Seriously, my boys are so big, so into everything. My house will never be clutter free, again. (wait, that implies it was before kids)

So the cribs are in the garage, going to sell one and keep one. You know, in case one day, in the future... And they are upstairs in big boy beds. Playing. And talking. Not sleeping. AT ALL.

What I've been up to...

Last weekend I had the chance to go to on girl's weekend with my best friend Jen, her sister Kristi and my good friend Danna. We didn't all know each other well, I didn't know Kristi, they didn't know Danna, but it was such a good group, a good mesh. I think we all enjoyed each others company, and much hilarity ensued :) We went to Mentone, Alabama to a house that some sweet friends of mine from church own, and it is one of my favorite places to unplug. Friday night we played some "Just Dance" on the Wii ( still the reigning champ, just saying) Saturday we walked around DeSoto Falls and then went to Fort Payne Alabama ( Merry Christmas, tonight) and saw a movie for $4.50! We decided it was so cheap they couldn't afford to light the theaters or a decent bathroom, but, hey, you get what you pay for!!! It was a really good time for us busy Moms to recharge our batteries.

I originally uploaded LOTS of pictures, but the images took up too much space. So here are a couple!

DeSoto Falls.