This is mine.

I have been thinking alot this week about sharing. One of the things about being a single Mom is that you can't do everything. You just can't. I am blessed to have some sweet people who step in on a regular basis and help me raise my sweet boys. And I am eternally thankful, and humbled, and loved. But, sometimes this is hard. Not just because I hate "needing" help .. ( which is ridiculous, b/c I am not wonderwoman and we are made for community) but because its hard not to always be their number one. To put in hours of work and commute and housework, to have them wake up and ask for someone else...well, sometimes it breaks my Mommy heart. And it brings in the Mommy guilt. Now don't get me wrong, I know truth, I know they are two and they simply want who they want..and they know the routine and who comes when.. but I am human :) Then this week happened.. One night this week, my sweet Nathan who NEVER has trouble sleeping, couldn't go to sleep. He cried and cried.. He cried for ME... He wanted Mommy. I went and got him out of his bed, and sat on the floor with him.. and we snuggled. I sat their, holding him, and I wispered Love you Nathan... and he whispered " love you Mommy" ( it sounded like loooo u mommy) and I thought "This is mine..." This sweet middle of the night, first thing in the morning love... This is mine..

And it made everything ok again.

Another one to help me remember..

I was thinking today about the funny, funny things that toddlers do and say..lots of that going on around here. In an ongoing effort to remember the little things..here are a few for you.

Anytime we go somewhere, and someone says hi to them..Nathan immediately points to Noah and says TT..( his name for Noah) as if he is introducing him.

Right now we are obsessed with Thomas the Train, in particularly the "Lion Of Sodor " and "Creaky Cranky" but Nathan calls that last one "cranky cranky" Noah LOVES our Thomas the train sets..he has started saying Train, Choo Choo and Shake ( for the Shake Shake bridge) . He is always bringing me track pieces and trains to hook together. He has gotten really good at putting his trains away!

Noah likes to put himself in time out... If I come around the corner and he is sitting in the time out spot, I immediately look for something spilled or broken.

The other day, we turned in to ChicFila.. and Nathan clapped his hands with joy and said "oh, yeay! Nuggets!" ( oh dear)

Noah still wakes up almost every night around 3 am..he calls from his room Momma, UP, Momma Up.. and 9/10, I go get him and we snuggle and fall back asleep. Until he wakes me up pulling my hair asking for fireman sam. (sigh) The other night, he slid out of my bed, walked around and turned on my ipod alarm clock Nice way to wake up at 4am.

Both of them love a routine. When we go upstairs, one of them has to turn the light on, and Noah always goes first, then Nathan. And they always ask me to hold whatever it is they are holding.. milk cups, Nathan's frog, Noah's train...when we get to the landing, they both lay down and laugh...every.single.time.

Sometimes I think Nathan might be a little OCD.. he has a thing about doors.. he is always closing bedroom doors, bathroom doors..and now cabinet doors. If he is eating and a cabinet is open, he says "close it Mama" Weird, right?

Guess thats it for now!!! Pictures coming soon!

Faith Like a Child

I tend to complicate things. No, really I do. ( Yes, I know, some of you are thinking, "tell me something I don't know") The last couple of weeks God has put some very "child like" thoughts on my heart.

I don't do resolutions any more. Because I think they just set us up for failure, giving us another system to live an manage life by. Yeah, no thanks! But I am sort of resolving to simplify my life. I look at the sweet and sneaky faces of my two year olds, and wish for a simpler life, when BAM, I realize it is mine for the taking.

I think Jars of Clay said it well in their song "Faith Like a Child"....

"They say that I can move the mountains
And send them crashing into the sea
They say that I can walk on water
If I would follow and believe
with faith like a child"

There are many things I can think of that I want to see or do through the eyes of a child, the sweet simplistic life.

I want to play. With abandon.

I want to run just because I want to. Because it is fun. Or because Mama is chasing me!

To eat ice cream, outside and let it melt all over my fingers, and not worry about being sticky or messy.

To know that if I wake up in the middle of the night, crying from a bad dream, somebody is going to come get me, and hold me and to know in my heart of hearts it is ok and that it was just a dream.

To sing (worship) like nobody is watching, just because I can and I love it. And to mean it with all my heart, and to not worry about how it sounds.

To believe...

So goodbye to smelly old complicated 2011, hello 2012.

I am ready to walk into this year free of baggage and complications. To see the sweet small joys of every day. To snuggle with my little boys, to savour my beautiful friendships free from fear and worry over what they think, to love my family and to enjoy my time with them. To worship, and not worry how I sound, or how I look. To sit and be still in the presence of my Saviour, resting in the knowledge that He loves me, despite my tendency to complicate. And to eat ice cream, outside. And not worry about my sticky hands.

Lacey <><